Tanka
I've gotten the bug to write poetry again, but I tend to shun from the traditional verse. In my travels on the web, I've come across the ancient form of Japanese poetry called Tanka. No doubt many of you dear readers are familiar with Haiku, a 5-7-5 syllabic arrangement. Tanka is slightly longer-- 31 syllables in length, and often takes the form of 5-7-5-7-7, though that rule is not hard and fast.
Here's a first attempt at the art form.
With sand still clinging
the shells quietly at rest
far from the ocean
Treasures of a seaside stroll
Idyllic lover's retreat.
the shells quietly at rest
far from the ocean
Treasures of a seaside stroll
Idyllic lover's retreat.
Labels:
Poetry
3 comments:
Hi bs: Thanks for visiting my blog. I like your first tanka. You have a real feeling for the form, and the realistic detail of the "sand still clinging" brings the shells right into my room. "Woman of my dreams," because it's such a familiar phrase, makes the woman seem rather general and abstract. Can you find some more individual way of referring to her. that's just a thought to keep or toss. Nice job, nice blog.
thanks bill! i appreciate your comments, and i agree, 'woman of my dreams' is overused. she is anything but general and abstract, and deserves more than this trite turn of phrase. thanks for your feedback! edit it, i will.
b.s.
Wonderful! This puts me right in the moment! A light, elegant romance. Thanks for the daydream!
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